Post by Eudoxia Karras on May 31, 2009 13:23:28 GMT -7
Traditions were for those who needed them. They provided a script to follow when the world fell apart at the seams. It gave those who needed an autopilot the specified program. At this point Eudoxia wasn’t sure if she even believed in what she was doing but it gave her something to do. Starting in the bathroom she used the flat sheet from the bed, standing on her tip toes she hung the sheet over the mirror. When in mourning the use of magic was frowned upon, it seemed silly to her but she obliged out of habit. Hopping from the vanity she sighed and grabbed the square of deep purple satin and covered the smaller mirror on the vanity in the hotel room. Satisfied she looked at the basket on the table, the dry biscuits, wine, brandy and coffee sat on the bed of shredded paper and she made a mental note to thank her father for the traditional food. Swallowing hard she picked up the scrub brush and bleach, they were items stolen form the supply closet in the basement, the house elves used magic to clean so it was a relief when she found them. Stepping back into the bathroom she sighed, the running shorts and ratty wife beater had bleach stains and holes from the previous three days.
The room was spotless, there wasn’t a hair on the floor, nor was there any cause to clean it, but the baseboards seemed dingy and the invisible soap scum ring around the bathtub was suddenly a dark brown. The Spaniard was tired, the circles under her eyes just barely visible, and she moved slow, in calculated motions. There was a fear if she moved too fast someone would see her and bestow some more bad news. She was running into a wall every turn she took and slowly but surely she was systematically shutting down. Sinking to her knees she started with the tub, in canonized movements she filled the bucket first with water, then with bleach. Dipping the brush into the water she went to work, her curls whipped around her face as she scrubbed the tub her movements increasing in fervor. While this had soothed her earlier in the week it now caused her skin to gleam with sweat. Using her forearm she wiped the beads of salthingyer from her face and stood up.
Nothing felt right. It was no longer comforting or soothing, it was tiresome. For the first time in three days she felt something. Anger. It wasn’t the anger she had felt and directed at Keith, not this anger was choking her. It caused her to shake, like her skin was only thing keeping her together and even it might shatter and she would explode covering the bleached bathroom with a fine pink mist. Ripping off the tank top she threw it and kicked the bucket. A loud swoosh filled the room as the water leaped up and coated the room and the petite brunette. She should have seen it coming but she didn’t and the moment the water hit her it was catharsis. For the first time since she had said goodbye to Levi she felt something other than the catatonic numbness. Anger, sadness, desperation and complete loneliness settled in and she clutched at her stomach and chest her nails digging in deep, drawing half moon circles of blood. Breathing in once she let out a yowl of pain and sunk to a sitting position her back against the wall she placed her palms on he thighs and did her best to control her breathing.
“I am fine.”
Even she couldn’t convince herself she was fine, her voice was shaky and just barely a whisper. Standing she couldn’t defend her next action, she put on her running shoes and walked out the door. Sure it was close to three in the morning but she had to run, she needed the repetitive motion of placing one foot in front of the other. She needed to focus her breathing, in through the nose, out through the mouth. Eudoxia needed to feel her body work; she needed to push herself to the edge physically. As tempting as it was she avoided the bar. Tequila would only end up making the morning that much harder to face. It was raining. This made her smile, John loved the rain. Walking a few feet out the door she picked up her pace, her feet hitting the pavement in rapid succession. Her muscles let out soft hums of pleasure. The heart she had all but forgotten started to beat faster and sweat mixed with rainwater giving her muscles a nice sheen as they flexed in lamplight.
It was like this was a joke, John would call or send an owl any day now and say ‘ha, tricked you!’ Like he was trying to teach her some sort of lesson for leaving him without an adequate explanation. She had spent three days staring at the walls, praying he would call. Going through her suitcase she found some of the things he had packed for her without her knowing and he stomach somersaulted each time she pulled out an extra potion, or the stupid sweater he insisted she buy. She had lost track of her location, how far she had gone and for how long, all she knew is she wasn’t done. It was slightly jarring, each time her foot made contact with the pavement. It was the good sort, the type that brought her back into reality, it kept her form continuing to believe she would be able to pick up the phone and call him. It reminded her Levi was on his kamikaze mission and Lot had been captured. Each step brought her labored breath and she all of a sudden she stopped.
The world seemed to continue to rush past her and she leaned forward her hands finding her knees panting she felt the rain drip off of her nose and she couldn’t be sure, but she thought she could feel tears mixing with the rainwater and falling to the grass below her. Collapsing into the wet ground she laid back, her arms and legs splayed about her like a broken doll. The rain hit her face and torso and sighed. She could lay here forever. Freezing to death was a very real possibility she had only managed to put on running shoes after the bleach water incident and she wondered if she should have selected a long sleeved shirt. Closing her eyes she starter to shiver, her lungs felt as if they were collapsing and her shot open as she tired to control herself. Her heart beat rapidly as if it was attempting to escape her chest cavity. She just had to breathe.
Breathe in
Breathe out
Attempting to focus she felt herself shaking and all at once the d**n broke and teas flooded her eyes. This was it, this was the breakdown she had been expecting. It had taken long enough. Pulling her knees tight into her chest she did her best to control the heaving of her body. Though silent the sobs wrecked her body and just as quickly as it had started, it stopped. Going limp she lay there, having broken herself down completely it would take a few minutes before she could muster the strength to stand.
The room was spotless, there wasn’t a hair on the floor, nor was there any cause to clean it, but the baseboards seemed dingy and the invisible soap scum ring around the bathtub was suddenly a dark brown. The Spaniard was tired, the circles under her eyes just barely visible, and she moved slow, in calculated motions. There was a fear if she moved too fast someone would see her and bestow some more bad news. She was running into a wall every turn she took and slowly but surely she was systematically shutting down. Sinking to her knees she started with the tub, in canonized movements she filled the bucket first with water, then with bleach. Dipping the brush into the water she went to work, her curls whipped around her face as she scrubbed the tub her movements increasing in fervor. While this had soothed her earlier in the week it now caused her skin to gleam with sweat. Using her forearm she wiped the beads of salthingyer from her face and stood up.
Nothing felt right. It was no longer comforting or soothing, it was tiresome. For the first time in three days she felt something. Anger. It wasn’t the anger she had felt and directed at Keith, not this anger was choking her. It caused her to shake, like her skin was only thing keeping her together and even it might shatter and she would explode covering the bleached bathroom with a fine pink mist. Ripping off the tank top she threw it and kicked the bucket. A loud swoosh filled the room as the water leaped up and coated the room and the petite brunette. She should have seen it coming but she didn’t and the moment the water hit her it was catharsis. For the first time since she had said goodbye to Levi she felt something other than the catatonic numbness. Anger, sadness, desperation and complete loneliness settled in and she clutched at her stomach and chest her nails digging in deep, drawing half moon circles of blood. Breathing in once she let out a yowl of pain and sunk to a sitting position her back against the wall she placed her palms on he thighs and did her best to control her breathing.
“I am fine.”
Even she couldn’t convince herself she was fine, her voice was shaky and just barely a whisper. Standing she couldn’t defend her next action, she put on her running shoes and walked out the door. Sure it was close to three in the morning but she had to run, she needed the repetitive motion of placing one foot in front of the other. She needed to focus her breathing, in through the nose, out through the mouth. Eudoxia needed to feel her body work; she needed to push herself to the edge physically. As tempting as it was she avoided the bar. Tequila would only end up making the morning that much harder to face. It was raining. This made her smile, John loved the rain. Walking a few feet out the door she picked up her pace, her feet hitting the pavement in rapid succession. Her muscles let out soft hums of pleasure. The heart she had all but forgotten started to beat faster and sweat mixed with rainwater giving her muscles a nice sheen as they flexed in lamplight.
It was like this was a joke, John would call or send an owl any day now and say ‘ha, tricked you!’ Like he was trying to teach her some sort of lesson for leaving him without an adequate explanation. She had spent three days staring at the walls, praying he would call. Going through her suitcase she found some of the things he had packed for her without her knowing and he stomach somersaulted each time she pulled out an extra potion, or the stupid sweater he insisted she buy. She had lost track of her location, how far she had gone and for how long, all she knew is she wasn’t done. It was slightly jarring, each time her foot made contact with the pavement. It was the good sort, the type that brought her back into reality, it kept her form continuing to believe she would be able to pick up the phone and call him. It reminded her Levi was on his kamikaze mission and Lot had been captured. Each step brought her labored breath and she all of a sudden she stopped.
The world seemed to continue to rush past her and she leaned forward her hands finding her knees panting she felt the rain drip off of her nose and she couldn’t be sure, but she thought she could feel tears mixing with the rainwater and falling to the grass below her. Collapsing into the wet ground she laid back, her arms and legs splayed about her like a broken doll. The rain hit her face and torso and sighed. She could lay here forever. Freezing to death was a very real possibility she had only managed to put on running shoes after the bleach water incident and she wondered if she should have selected a long sleeved shirt. Closing her eyes she starter to shiver, her lungs felt as if they were collapsing and her shot open as she tired to control herself. Her heart beat rapidly as if it was attempting to escape her chest cavity. She just had to breathe.
Breathe in
Breathe out
Attempting to focus she felt herself shaking and all at once the d**n broke and teas flooded her eyes. This was it, this was the breakdown she had been expecting. It had taken long enough. Pulling her knees tight into her chest she did her best to control the heaving of her body. Though silent the sobs wrecked her body and just as quickly as it had started, it stopped. Going limp she lay there, having broken herself down completely it would take a few minutes before she could muster the strength to stand.