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Post by curtismohon65 on Jun 18, 2009 16:24:22 GMT -7
GENERAL INFORMATION![]() url of picture goes here, do not stretched the board, please! [/img][/center] [/b] curtismohon curt Birthday and Age: july 18 1997 11 Student or Adult: student Gender: male Hair Color: brown Eye Color: brown Height: 4:11 Identifying marks- scars, tattoos, etc.:[/ul] - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - PERSONALITY [/b] at least 3 fighting girls working out Disdain: at least 3 cheaters perfects killers Strengths: at least 3 racing working out making friends Weaknesses: at least 3 running girls cooking Worst Fear: dying Life long dream?: to be a ufc fighter Overall: (at least two very detailed paragraphs or more. Tell us what you character is about, using the above list. FYI - A detailed paragraph generally consists of at least five (5) well written sentences.)[/ul] i like fighting action i love ufc my favorite band is nervana i have 2 brothers 1 sister i like taking pics i like go-kart racing i like football. i like racing dirtbike racing and fourwheeler racing too i like soccer baseball golf and hockey i like hunting like pizza im skinny i can do a frontflip and a backflip too - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - HISTORY [/i] (Pure Blood, Mud Blood, Half Blood, Blood Traitor) pure blood Parents:mom jane dad jeff Siblings: willam my brother murry my other brother jessieca my sister Other: (Aunts, Uncles God Parents...etc) no History: (at least two very detailed paragraphs or more. Tell us what you character's history is about. FYI - A detailed paragraph generally consists of at least five (5) well written sentences.)[/ul] my mom and dad meet at a hotel they got married on a boat when i was 3 i got a hanger stuck in the side of my mouth when i was 10 sprang my ankle by wrecking my dirtbike my ankel slamed in to a tree when my brother willam was born his dad named him while my mom was passed out he gave him the middle name murry and she wanted his middl name to be diffrent. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - SAMPLE [/b] (you will find it in the rules, so make sure you have read them. Your application will not be approved with out the password.) super fly RP Sample:(at least two very detailed paragraphs or more. All posts must be at least 150 words or more, spell checked and grammatically correct or the application will not be approved. FYI - A detailed paragraph generally consists of at least five (5) well written sentences.)[/ul] |
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Post by Headmistress Rollins on Jun 18, 2009 21:35:20 GMT -7
Dear Curtis, While this is a beginner site certain expectations are in place to make Providence enjoyable for all. That said there are so very important problems with your application that will have to be fixed before we can approve your application. This is meant to be a site for people who wish to grow in their writing and learn through the fun of role playing. Grammar, capitalization and spell check are required on the site and in life quite honestly. If you are 13 years or above you should have no problem structuring a sentence. If you can't we will place you with a mentor so you can learn. The mentor will red mark your post, pointing out mistakes in grammar, spelling or punctuation. It doesn't matter what profession you are in you will need to learn how to write, so use this as a fun opportunity to learn and make friends at the same time. [/b] Example 1 - "curtismohon curt" S/B Curtis Mohon Curt (Names first and last are always capitalized) Example 2 - "ufc fighter" S/B UFC Fighter (This needs to be capitalized with quotation marks because it is part of the name of a company.) Example 3 - "i" S/B I (The letter I is always capitalized if it stands alone.) [2] Overall In this paragraph it reads ... *i like fighting action i love ufcA proper sentence would read. "*I like fighting action so I always make sure to watch the UFC on the television."Problem- This paragraph has no sentence structure at all. There is no punctuation, nothing is capitalized and it is basically one big run on list. It does not form a sentence let alone a paragraph. The application states for the "Overall", "At least two very detailed paragraphs or more. Tell us what you character is about, using the list. A detailed paragraph generally consists of at least five well written sentences." Please note a well written sentence included correct grammar, punctuation and spelling, as well as descriptive words. [3] Problem -Again, this sentence has no structure at all. There is no punctuation, nothing is capitalized, you have many spelling errors and it is basically one big run on list that does not form a sentence at all. We require at least two very detailed paragraphs or more. We want you to tell us what you character's history is about. A detailed paragraph generally consists of at least five (5) well written sentences[4] Password: This has been changed. Please reread the rules and find the new one. Thanks. [5] RP Sample - All posts must be at least 150 words or more, spell checked and grammatically correct or the application will not be approved. Your RP Sample must be at least two very detailed paragraphs or more and a detailed paragraph generally consists of at least five (5) well written sentences. [/ul] I thank you for applying to Providence Academy and I look forward to seeing the changes you make on the application. Mama CP.S. This is not meant for you to get frustrated but rather help you become a better writer and a smarter student. |
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